i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
