yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
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