so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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