high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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