How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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