i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
