so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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