Me too!
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
