I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
