Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I think people are normalizing furries
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
