Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Randomize
