Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
