Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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