I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
