dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Randomize
