omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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