absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
