i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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