My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
