Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
