i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
