You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
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