At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.