in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
