I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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