Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  Soap is not a condiment

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  (805): Soap is not a condiment http://tfl.nu/gm1k
  Replies (6) Good night (655) Bad night (1083)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book

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  (813): Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book http://tfl.nu/eyxq
  Replies (12) Good night (2864) Bad night (721)
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  (718): View more from New York

  we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.

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  (718): we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love. http://tfl.nu/cgcu
  Replies (9) Good night (4971) Bad night (1047)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.

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  (404): Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party. http://tfl.nu/3iq6
  Replies (16) Good night (2789) Bad night (3603)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.

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  (512): Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food. http://tfl.nu/f716
  Replies (19) Good night (1780) Bad night (4079)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.

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  (860): Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover. http://tfl.nu/pf8w
  Replies (5) Good night (3294) Bad night (1013)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.

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  (256): Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary. http://tfl.nu/t36d
  Replies (3) Good night (2486) Bad night (799)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.

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  (717): You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome. http://tfl.nu/k5p0
  Replies (6) Good night (642) Bad night (2368)
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  (081): View more from

  KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!

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  (081): KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP! http://tfl.nu/zqfd
  Replies (14) Good night (784) Bad night (1345)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.

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  (608): Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day. http://tfl.nu/sglt
  Replies (2) Good night (1673) Bad night (743)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?

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  (620): I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get? http://tfl.nu/ju2n
  Replies (7) Good night (552) Bad night (1200)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego

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  (617): Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego http://tfl.nu/3a07
  Replies (0) Good night (533) Bad night (298)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.

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  (603): I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty. http://tfl.nu/jo6d
  Replies (5) Good night (378) Bad night (752)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk

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  (608): Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk http://tfl.nu/yyy6
  Replies (3) Good night (584) Bad night (407)
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  (707): View more from California

  You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation

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  (707): You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation http://tfl.nu/8r16
  Replies (0) Good night (511) Bad night (224)

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