Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
