Texts From Last Night

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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?

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  (513): I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious? http://tfl.nu/32zi
  Replies (9) Good night (894) Bad night (1412)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?

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  (941): you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt? http://tfl.nu/kuku
  Replies (6) Good night (892) Bad night (3705)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?

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  (318): Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch? http://tfl.nu/y5pd
  Replies (17) Good night (10400) Bad night (973)
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  (631): View more from New York

  i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker

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  (631): i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker http://tfl.nu/xdfg
  Replies (16) Good night (4878) Bad night (1339)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish

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  (602): just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish http://tfl.nu/fhjl
  Replies (5) Good night (4011) Bad night (909)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  my sombrero is too big for the bathroom

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  (908): my sombrero is too big for the bathroom http://tfl.nu/okhq
  Replies (25) Good night (9508) Bad night (1270)
• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe

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  (808): you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe http://tfl.nu/mori
  Replies (4) Good night (4488) Bad night (952)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.

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  (217): Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty. http://tfl.nu/eut4
  Replies (9) Good night (808) Bad night (2029)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."

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  (859): He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for." http://tfl.nu/4ze1
  Replies (8) Good night (2503) Bad night (934)
• Favorite

  (979): View more from Texas

  Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again

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  (979): Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again http://tfl.nu/ae74
  Replies (5) Good night (2948) Bad night (941)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."

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  (215): i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight." http://tfl.nu/7mfw
  Replies (23) Good night (2300) Bad night (1353)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home

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  (910): There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home http://tfl.nu/98yp
  Replies (10) Good night (1378) Bad night (573)
• Favorite

  (+45): View more from Denmark

  I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned

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  (+45): I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned http://tfl.nu/8ezp
  Replies (6) Good night (970) Bad night (569)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.

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  (602): I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College. http://tfl.nu/47ac
  Replies (9) Good night (1219) Bad night (1063)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I immediately regret the tequila decision.

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  (248): I immediately regret the tequila decision. http://tfl.nu/ptpj
  Replies (4) Good night (662) Bad night (428)

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