Texts From Last Night

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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I'll just stay a virgin forever then

  (1-856): View more from New Jersey

  You still have to go anyway

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around

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  (856): I'll just stay a virgin forever then (1-856): You still have to go anyway (856): Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around http://tfl.nu/rkrx
  Replies (5) Good night (1144) Bad night (477)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  So i had sex for a couple seconds last night

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  (419): So i had sex for a couple seconds last night http://tfl.nu/eni0
  Replies (20) Good night (590) Bad night (2367)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...

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  (732): Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken... http://tfl.nu/8g1q
  Replies (55) Good night (9578) Bad night (1365)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.

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  (662): When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis. http://tfl.nu/y0g4
  Replies (10) Good night (2210) Bad night (740)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.

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  (920): i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth. http://tfl.nu/8x3w
  Replies (58) Good night (791) Bad night (2810)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children

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  (419): this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children http://tfl.nu/wdp5
  Replies (4) Good night (535) Bad night (3527)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....

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  (443): We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich.... http://tfl.nu/i7fe
  Replies (100) Good night (38528) Bad night (1297)
• Favorite

  (325): View more from Texas

  I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.

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  (325): I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well. http://tfl.nu/zrfa
  Replies (19) Good night (6886) Bad night (1333)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.

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  (908): The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one. http://tfl.nu/8bgn
  Replies (3) Good night (3031) Bad night (1082)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?

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  (410): fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up? http://tfl.nu/rzhf
  Replies (3) Good night (599) Bad night (1374)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I thought you were single?

  (1-262): View more from Wisconsin

  I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.

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  (262): I thought you were single? (1-262): I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick. http://tfl.nu/pt5v
  Replies (6) Good night (1776) Bad night (668)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.

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  (302): Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you. http://tfl.nu/p99c
  Replies (7) Good night (1463) Bad night (555)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.

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  (814): I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount. http://tfl.nu/e0cf
  Replies (5) Good night (1014) Bad night (246)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".

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  (707): The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny". http://tfl.nu/ox7j
  Replies (3) Good night (511) Bad night (553)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?

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  (615): You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass... (931): And you wonder why you're always one of the guys? http://tfl.nu/4fld
  Replies (1) Good night (711) Bad night (261)

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