covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.