Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
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