I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You've changed since you got that strap on
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
