drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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