I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
