Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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