I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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