Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize