If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
