i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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