Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
