Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize