okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
