I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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