You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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