So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
