If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
