Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
zippers are such a cool invention
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
How does it feel to date your dad?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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