i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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