Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
