I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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