Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
