Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
