It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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