im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
