I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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