Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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