Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize