I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
