pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
