I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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