North Korea, Best Korea!
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
