is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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