I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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