We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
