I think I am morally bankrupt
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
