Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
