I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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