Don't you send me to vm
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
